I may have made someone cry. I had to do it though. I told someone something today that I have needed to say for a very long time. It made the clouds here part. I feel as thought tha blank canvas is not so bad after all. I get to fill it. It is my […]
At the moment I don’t care. About day 4 that is. Thank God for that. But I am furious at the outside world. Disappointed and rejected. I work with a rat. Damn. I suppose it was only matter of time before the outside world crept in here. Truly crept in. There is only one who […]
I miss the solitude. It was the one thing I could get before I ended up where I am. You would think where I am would be more the place for solitude than where I was, but the truth is I was more alone in the crowd. I am less alone even though I feel […]
Here we go again. But this is a different day. I think I figured out last night the enemy is not who I thought it was. In fact it’s not a who at all. But I have to keep that a secret right now. Ahh.. fuck it. It’s the act. It’s what I am doing. […]
I won that last battle. And now I am in the thick of the new one. Day 2. An enemy message from the old man in the secret place. Near the signs. I stayed away. I dreamed though. damn did I dream. I don’t remember the answer. Only the question. What happens when the enemy […]
I am struggling. There is a pit in my stomach. A test of wills. I think i will win. This battle. I will lose in the end. I already have.
Will it be a complete day? What happened to me last night. My body rejected everything I had eaten. It seems like a dream. Or like I was drugged. day four. day four. day four. Shut out again. And this time it was dark. darker than normal. there was certainly something afoot.
I need rest. I have let myself get too tired, too hungry, too sad. Can I get through an entire day?
Damn it. I hate this… game? No, it’s not a game. But it’s something. And I hate it. I always lose. How long will it go? You’ve GOT to be kidding me… hold on. It’s happening NOW. Can you effin believe it????!!! 11:51 am. Wow. Are there holes tearing in the walls of this place? […]
If I think about him less, does it mean he never existed? Am I that naive to think that no one heard the tree? No one? Really? Not one single living creature? Are we that big headed to think the question is even valid? Existential bullshit is what that is. Really, no one? I hear […]