…but I find that my mind is running as if it were 5am on the third day, maybe the second, by this point if it were when my mind thinks that it is then I would be lost in time and wouldn’t really care less about a clock, but rather just a bed, until I could find a pillow my mind would follow whatever my body told it too. fuck the words, what would be my last thought, the very last one, for I fear I have your disease and can not do anything about it. I am listening in case you were wondering, even if I am not talking. something broke this morning. I hope to god it is for good. I have been waiting for quite some time for this to happen. please say it is broken. tomorrow will be so much better if it is broken. i go to bed not knowing.