The mistake is often made to think a tear a sign of weakness. Believe me, no one wants to see me cry. I worry the anger is so deep I fear myself most days. I know what comes next, I just question if I have to go through all the monumental failures repeated by so many before me. I want new failure. I don’t care about loss and disgrace, save for two faces I must stare at when it is all over, I simply walk with this weight in my head that holds me from taking the flying leap I need to. It has all been written before, am I just playing out a role that has nothing of my own hand in its making. Or is there somewhere a blank page to write it all down on once I have put everything aside and put all that I built to the test.