Twice I have wanted to call. So much to say, much already said. Lord only knows when you last looked at this, if you will ever again. Twice I wanted to call and refrained. Maybe this is a good thing. Not for us, but for me. You are my brother, not of blood, but of soul, of time. A thousand times we have picked up right where we left off. But today, I don’t want to pick up where we left off because we leave off where we left off the last time. And that seems like going backwards over and over again. I set too many rules when we entered this new land. At your request I abandoned them quickly. I can’t even remember what they were or why you hesitated. The one who hated the rules put upon him makes up his own at every turn. I have let this go misguided for too long and only now see the error of my ways. It matters not now. Many year have passed and I no longer care about yesterday, only tomorrow. Too many rules. Are you scared of the box that you have placed yourself in. Twice I wanted to call, to distract from the pain I feel. But you too are a source of pain these days. Twisted, all the parts that I thought were mine were yours. I can’t tell you that this will pass. This feels different than anything that has come before. Twice I wanted to call in the past 2 days. I reached for the phone and put it down.