Twice I have wanted to call. So much to say, much already said. Lord only knows when you last looked at this, if you will ever again. Twice I wanted to call and refrained. Maybe this is a good thing. Not for us, but for me. You are my brother, not of blood, but of […]
I find my self at a crossroads. Which is funny because I didn’t think we developed this place to have roads that crossed. That would require a lot of planning or none at all and we are not good at either. And yes, I know what I called my self. Damn it, I am sticking […]
We have never minced words here. Garlic maybe, but not words. I am an asshole. To the marrow. I come by it honestly. It may be why I will never pass that gene on. This may be the most telling essay of who we are, if any of those who know us are trying to find […]
I know now that the pain is not what I hoped, or by chance, hoped it would be. It is still with me. I dread the coming week. I don’t know why. Maybe because it will pass as quickly as the last two, even more so if time works the way it normally does. Two […]
The sun is rising as I speak I stare into the light and the warmth covers my body. All I have I did on my terms, but I have not done all that I have wanted. The terms change today. Minor keys, minor steps, minor attempts, they have all been minor until now. It is yet […]
I can not count the times I have promised myself the new start that would change all the days that have come before. If I had a penny for every broken promise I betrayed myself with I wouldn’t need the nickel for each false start I cried myself to sleep on. I sit in a […]
Conflickered to say the least. You have left twice, or rather I left you and you left me, once each, in the past 8 months. You arrival brings on so much at one moment. It always has. I am a better person when I am with ear shot. I want more. I want less. I […]
In just the few minutes, if it was that long, I have forgotten what I was going to say. I am losing time constantly. Losing pieces of my mind. Forgetting who I am, who I was, what I wanted. I started this year off so differently. I was anticipating the next 10 months and the 2 […]
I am writing to the cosmos, the great void where nothing is and everything begins. I have worried much lately of every little ailment that has afflicted me. I have (tried) to put down sugar at every turn in fear that the sweet disease will follow me way to soon. It is odd to watch after being […]
How did two decades go by? I have the longing to write but not the words. They feel flat and emotionless. Much like I do. Stuck in a tunnel waiting for my destination to arrive I ponder the wasted hour spent in misery. Asleep and dejected by the past four days. This was to be […]