Thursday, February 4, 2010
…but I find that my mind is running as if it were 5am on the third day, maybe the second, by this point if it were when my mind thinks that it is then I would be lost in time and wouldn’t really care less about a clock, but rather just a bed, until I […]
But I miss her. I miss her so much it burns. It rips my heart out. Makes me want to scream. Makes me cry. I feel like something is burning me from the inside. I can’t even admit it. It’s so wrong. I am trying so hard to do what is right, but I can’t […]
Thursday, November 19, 2009
It’s getting harder. I haven’t hit a day five in a while as you can see. And the thing is, this time it’s done. These days are going to climb and climb. I went to the sign last night. Sometimes it’s actually comforting. Yesterday it wasn’t. It was torture. I will never escape, will I?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
It started good. Then a message came. The killer of souls was spotted. At least no contact was made. Why does this bother me. Why can’t I let it go. It will haunt and follow me. It totally takes the wind out of my sails, the air out of my balloon. Fuck!!!!!
Calling me, it whispers in my ear and asks me the questions I refuse to ask myself. Where are the hours spent and what will the day end in if I do not grab a hold and take it for what it is worth. I must start. It is better to fall then to not […]
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I find myself not traveling in either world, just passing the time, looking over each shoulder trying to decide who is calling me more, hearing nothing in either ear, walking lost a little further. I wait for a call.
Friday, September 4, 2009
It has been okay but the anxiety level has risen only moments ago. The old man is as cut off as I. What does that mean? I know these days are gonna grow. Into the double digits I’m sure. I wish I could will myself to let go.
I have gotten lost in the world outside. An unexpected fork in the road that looked promising but has led me to lands unknown and haunting. Is time different here. How have I let years go by outside that mean nothing. Tonight I find a cave and curl up. I will not look to return […]
Saturday, August 15, 2009
They help you see in the dark. They start things on fire. The make you warm when you are cold. I sing you a happy happy day around our fire. Hope it is a good one my friend. I wish we were both here and not where we are.
There are a hundred reasons that I do not try to find the time for what I have on my list of most important things to me to do next. I know, I just know, that I will get interrupted momentarily. A most pathetic reason for apathy.